Its the new year, a time to reflect. Its a symbolic time to let go of old baggage and start new.  The first 3 weeks of January is a especially thought-filled time for me. I remember the anniversary of both my parent’s deaths and I celebrate a birthday. These personal bookmarks of my life help me reflect on what is and isn’t in my life. The rest of the year is kind of simple, because I just walk the treadmill of life. In January, the bookmarks remind me to stop and think.

Also as I approach a milestone birthday, this year I am aware of what I don’t know. In your 20′s and 30′s, you think you know everything. I’m finding the older I get that is less true. I truly have more life experience, but the bigger picture is much less clear. I am often perplexed by the have and have nots. Why is is that some people have certain things and other’s do not? Wealth, talent, intellect, creativity, and health are few words that describe things that many of us either have or have not.  I realize its not always a black line between have and have not. You’re not just wealthy or poor, there’s room for grey in there. It just seems some people have “more” of some gifts then others.

I have been blessed with having artistic/creative abilities. I hear all the time “you’re so talented.” I like to hear that, it keeps me motivated. However, it also makes me wonder “why do I have this built-in ability and others don’t?” In the same thought process, I can think “why can’t I sing and others can?” I don’t even like to sing in the shower because I know I sound so bad.

Stopping and reflecting this time of year is my way of  processing it all. I reflect on what I have and don’t have. I stop and think why is this a good thing? I try to find ways to change what isn’t so good. I don’t know why I have all that I do or experienced all that I did, but I do know that it makes me, me. Someday I’ll have all the answers, for know I just don’t know and that’s OK.

Note about the image: “Metamorphosis” by Nanette S. Zeller, 14” x 11”.  Life is ever changing. Through each stage may you emerge more beautiful than from the last.

About 4 years ago, my sister casually mentioned she wanted a Christmas quilt that she could leave out through the winter. She didn’t want anything that “screamed” Christmas and had to be put away after the New Year. I don’t know if she was really asking me to make her one, but in her subtle way I thought she was. The thought stayed in my mind until 2 years ago, when Moda came out with a fabric line by Sandy Gervais. I was immediately drawn to the charm square bundles (5″ squares) with it’s red, green, dark blue, turquoise and pink fabric selection. This fabric collection did not scream Christmas, but many of the motifs clearly had holiday themes. It was a winner. So I purchased a couple of fabric bundles and some matching red yardage and off I went.

When I got home I did what most quilters do with their stash…I stashed it. The fabric sat for another year. In December 2010, I decided it was time to make this quilt. Sister’s birthday is in January, I thought I could get it done in time for her special day. I purchased some more fabric, brown this time. I think red and brown looks really good together and brown is definitely not thought of as a Christmas color. Then, life got busy. My sister visited me in January and I showed her the lovely fabrics that would soon be her birthday gift that wouldn’t be delivered on her birthday.

Flash forward to June (Yes, June!), and another opportunity to visit with my sister. I had just taken the sewing machine repair class and decided that my sister’s quilt needed to be quilted on my grandmother’s sewing machine. I quilted it and then added the binding on my way to the family reunion (thank goodness for long car rides). While binding, I noticed I had some severe tension issues with my quilting. The question…”Do I pass it on in this condition? or Bring it home again?” Yes, you guessed it, being the perfectionist I try not to be, I showed it to sister and carried it back home.

If you’re a quilter, you may understand that at this point I just really wanted it to go away. At the very least I had to walk away from it for awhile. OK, I agree 5 months does sound like a long time, but life got busy again. Last month, I tackled the inner procrastinator and ripped out all the problem stitches. I then put it back under my grandmother’s machine and re-stitched the newly unquilted areas. Success!

Yesterday my sister received her new quilt. Freshly washed with its batting all crinkled. On the same day at her home, the sky dumped snow. I’m sorry, sister, that your quilt took so long. I am glad you got it in time to show off this Christmas and through to your birthday next year. Unfortunately, my naming of the quilt, well it was inspired by your photo  from last year (left) and it seems be an omen to your upcoming winter season, so “Let it Snow, Ho Ho Ho!”

I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving. Each year at this time, I often think of my family that have left this Earth. From Thanksgiving to New Year’s it seems everything focuses on family and familiar traditions. Everyone talks about their kids and their parents. These discussions frequently remind me that I don’t have either. My mother died when I was a teen and my father when I was in my early 30′s. I’ll be honest and say I am a little jealous of people 60+ years old who say they’re going to visit mum, who’s in her 90′s. But I remind myself just as frequently, that you live with the cards you are dealt and make the most of it.

In August, my father’s sister (my godmother) passed to the next world. With her passing, I am aware that I am quickly becoming the “oldest” generation alive in my family. Needless to say with the big 50 approaching, I’m feeling older than my years. I’m calling it a mid-life crisis, even though I’m well passed mid-life (I don’t expect to live to 100). I want to get more out of life. That’s what makes what I’m doing exciting. I’m making larger footsteps in my journey and I’m finding it quite exciting.

So in this light, even though I know it is near the end of November, I have to tell you about another adventure that I had in October. It was a bittersweet journey that was extremely powerful for me.

My godmother’s memorial service was held in Florida in late October. Where she lived in Florida isn’t very convenient to airports and if I flew I would have to rent a car. It looked like the best opportunity to get to the services was to drive. Unfortunately, finding a travel partner wasn’t promising. So I made the decision to travel alone and make it a 5-day journey. I had never done this before, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me.

As it turned out, on the way to Florida, I was able to stop in SW Georgia to meet someone who was selling her collection of sewing machines. A friend of mine met me there and hauled the machines off to his house for me to pick up later.

My next stop was Florida. Before my godmother’s services, I put myself on a mission to see a live manatee. On a rainy Saturday morning, I found myself alone in a wonderful state park/zoo. I was mesmerized with this opportunity of watching the gorgeous animals and birds without the disturbance of other people (except the keepers). No kids screaming, or people talking, or competition for that fabulous photo opportunity. For 2 hours I was in heaven…and I got to see the manatee.

The next day I was on the road again to visit family in Savannah, GA. I really love that town and I love my cousin who lives there. I had a great time and the next day found myself on the road home. The 5-day journey was over.

Between my highlighted stops, I had a lot of time to be alone. I listened to upbeat music on my XM radio. I thought a million thoughts. Cried a few tears. I was awestruck by the beauty of the country-side which I drove. And I surprised myself, by how much I enjoyed my journey and being alone. Well not completely alone, I did pick up a hitchhiker at McDonalds who became my mascot for the road trip. Now that I’m home, I’m anxious for another opportunity for a road trip. Who knew, I would really like traveling alone.

As I mentioned in my last post, October was a very wonderful month creatively and emotionally. It presented me with opportunities that enriched my soul and gave me courage to continue on my artistic journey.

When I started writing this post, I was sitting in a beach front home in Virginia watching the waves crash the shore. My sewing machine was waiting, in front of the window, for me to start her up and work on my project.  When I got tired of sewing, I could look up and stare at the beach front…what a view!

I was there on a quilting retreat with 11 other like-mined professional art quilters. These women were extremely enthusiastic about having a few days to walk away from their busy lives and dedicate to their sewing passion. I was quite impressed with the talent that surrounded me. I was also very impressed with them as individuals. Each of them had a sense of calm about them that radiated throughout the house. No worries, just enjoyment!

Each morning I awoke with the enthusiasm of a child at Christmas. I would jump from my bed and peer out the window to see the sun start to peak over the ocean horizon. I would quickly get dressed and walk to the shore and sit down to watch the sun rise from the depths of the sea. Wow! Each morning the view was just as spectacular as the previous morning. I felt so comforted sitting there in this vast space watching the birds and dolphins play. I truly needed this down time.

I also needed the creative time. Ideas are streaming, spurred on by conversations, challenges, and sheer beauty that surrounded me that weekend. During the weekend, I started and completed a 12″x12″ cat portrait, that I’m calling “Scat Cat.” This piece was made especially for Animal Advocates of Moore County and their annual silent auction fund raiser in December. They are doing good things and I’m glad to help them. This piece is special to me, because of the memories of the weekend it was created. I wish I could always work with a sewing machine with a view like that.

This has been a wonderfully creative month…and its not over yet.

The most exciting thing, so far, is being a featured artist at Liquidamber gallery in Pittsboro, NC. The first of the month, on a beautiful sunny Sunday after noon, I was treated to an artist reception. I shared the day with artist Christine Lush-Rodriguez.

Christine is a wonderfully talented clay sculpture. She creates these wonderful vessels, with intricate cut-outs, and rich earthy colors. I am very pleased to share the stage with Christine. Our work looked like it belong together.

During the process of preparing for this, I found my artist voice. The art quilts that I created for this venue were rich and earthy in color and truly expressed my love of the natural world. Butterflies, trees, dragonflies, feathers, they all played a part in my pieces.

My pieces will be on display until the 1st of November. If you have time, stop by and see them. I know you’ll enjoy your visit. Pittsboro is a charming town and Liquidamber is a lovely shop. I am honored to show my work there.

Don’t forsake me, oh blog-o-sphere, I have not left you forlorn. My creative energies have been running on high octane, which limits my time to be by your side. The days, hours, minutes and seconds are counting down as I prepare for my exhibit as October’s featured artist at LiquidAmber Gallery and Gifts in Pittsboro, NC.

For this exhibit, I am proud to say I will have an entirely new collection of work for your enjoyment. I’ve been busy, busy, busy…thinking, dreaming, and executing my ideas. This exhibit has encouraged me to step back into my roots and break the rules. The best way to describe my work is as an art quilt. Just don’t let the word “quilt” confuse you, these pieces are not just quilts. They are art pieces that merge my love of fabric and quilting with my love of paints and mixed media.

Above all, these new pieces truly reflect my life-long culmination of creative adventure and exploration with a color pallet deeply influenced by my love and study of nature. I spent many years walking through forest and wetlands, the beauty I witnessed first hand has deeply affected me. With this opportunity to work with LiquidAmber, I have pulled from my core, dug deep into my soul and produced a collection for which I am very proud.

I invite you to join me for the Artist’s Reception on Sunday, October 2, 2011 from 2 to 4pm. If you can’t make it for this first Sunday reception, you can view the display any time in October during LiquidAmbers’s normal business hours.

Gallery Hours:
Closed Mondays, Tues thru Fri: 10:30-5:30pm
Sat: 9:30 – 5:30pm, Sun: 11:00 – 5:00pm

We may need to call this year the Centennial Summer. So many days reaching 100+ degrees. As the saying goes, “if you can’t beat it, join it!”

That’s what I did last weekend with my friend Laura. We were dyeing. No…not dying from the heat, but dyeing wool using the sun (aka solar dyeing).

Laura lives on a small farm and, amongst many things, she raises fiber animals for their wool, hand spins it into yarn and knits or weaves it into things (e.g., hats, gloves, table linens, etc). She’s fabulous and her farm is so peaceful.

Last weekend she invited several of us to visit and experiment with solar dyeing wool. I know little about all of this, so it was fun for me  to watch and learn. Here’s what we did:

1) Laura pre-washed sheared wool and we soaked it  in buckets of water.

2) We mixed acid dyes in 50/50 vinegar solution in glass mayo jars. (Thanks to Renee for supplying the Jacquard dye.) You could be precise about your measurements, especially if you wanted to recreate your results at another time. Although they were at the ready, we all decided no measuring spoons or cups for us.

3) Next, we placed hunks of the wool into the jar and set them in the hot sun. For a faster reaction time, we placed the jars on a car sun-reflector.

4) The jars of wool had to stay in the sun to get hot and have the dye react with the fibers. We knew the wool was ready when the dye solution had expired, meaning all the dye had moved into the fibers which leaves the solution clear.

The process took several hours. And instead of watching the jars in the hot sun, we went inside with the a/c. We had a fabulous cool lunch, and brought out spinning wheels (my spindle) and made yarn and talked of many different things.

At the end of the day, we took our jars home and washed our wool. What a surprise to see the intense colors! The day reminds me of Don McLean’s song “Vincent”.

Summer, Summer Dayz ~sic~
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand.

Thank you Laura and Renee for the beautiful Summer, Summer Day.

This month I’ve given myself a gift of time. I’m focusing this “free” time on my art, because I’m scheduled to be one of the two featured artists at Liquidambar in October. I’m devoting the month to the mission of creating new pieces for the show. Maybe it could be called an “Art-cation.”

Taking time to focus on my art has been very cathartic. During the process I’m contemplating on what makes me happy and where I want to be. I’m letting my art happen during this mindful experience and I’m discovering a lot. I think everyone needs to spend some time alone. Being rushed or having others demand your attention doesn’t allow you to truly focus on what’s right in front of you. Its important to understand what is driving you, or not. Taking time to reflect on your journey is very rewarding.

What also is rewarding is the art work I’m producing. Pictured on this post is my newest piece, “Solitude” (dimensions: 36” x 46″). It’s not quite a quilt and not quite a painting, but contains components of both. Its embellished with thread-painting, which is basically using thread as your paint and the sewing machine as the brush (I love doing this). The leaf is created entirely from thread. The entire piece is pure me, mixed media and fiber.

For me, the mighty silhouette of the tree (red maple) is a powerful image. Strength, beauty, patience, power, are a few words that I conjure in my mind. I’m also reminded to hang on for the ride and stay grounded, even if things don’t go so smoothly. This month has helped me realize how fortunate I am in many ways. If you can find the time, I encourage you to spend it alone with yourself. Its amazing what you can discover in the solitude.

I have been sewing by machine for a good many years. I prefer to machine sew, not hand sew. I can’t get the hang of hand quilting, but watch me fly while I free-motion quilt on a sewing machine. I teach sewing. I have a good amount of experience with sewing machines. Why was I still frustrated with using these machines?

The reason was I didn’t understand them. There was something mysterious about them. When things didn’t work right I often assumed it was me. Early on, I learned to obey my sewing machine mechanic when he said “Don’t touch that tension dial?’ or “Don’t open up your machine?”  Stuff goes wrong when you sew and I thought understanding the mechanics of these ingenious machines might make life easy. Just “why” did it go wrong? User error? Thread issues? Burrs? Needle problems? How do you teach if you don’t understand what’s going on?

I solved that problem a couple weeks ago when Dear Husband and I spent 4 full days learning how to repair sewing machines. We talked, ate, slept and dreamed about sewing machines all 4 days. It was a wonderful opportunity to spend time with my husband, to learn under the tutelage of Ray White and be amongst the company of 9 other enthusiastic learners (all more experienced then us). I obtained a lot of knowledge during that week, both from Ray and my comrades in class.

I am now a mechanic, a novice mechanic…but a mechanic non-the-less. I GET IT! I understand and above all appreciate how these machines work. I respect the genius of the craftsmen of the 1800′s who engineered the first machines. The ingenuity of these first machines is the basis of every sewing machine today, computerized or not. The guts are all basically the same.

I also learned something else…I learned respect and admiration for the old machines. I own a treadle machine and my Grandmother’s 1950 Singer (model #15-91). But until Ray’s class, I never really understood their value. They were often clumped into my brain as one of those “old black machines.” My comrades showed me the way to the “dark side,” exposing me to the quality and workmanship of these workhorses. Machines 50 to 100 years old can often out perform, and most definitely outlast, the plastic disposable machines they sell today.

When I got home, I loaded up my Grandmother’s 15-91 and started quilting (pictured top right). It was like a “V-8″ moment. Why was I looking for newer machines when I had this gem? Grandma knew best.

Since the class, I re-inherited my mother’s Singer 66-16 (pictured bottom right). The very machine I learned to sew on. This cast iron beauty unfortunately has some issues that need attention and isn’t quite ready for prime time. However, after some cleaning, lubrication, and re-wiring this baby will be back to doing what she was made for…sewing up a storm. Currently, she’s what’s I’m working on. As I progress through this part of my journey as an fiber artist, I’ll be dropping in now and again to show you what’s on my bench. Hang in there, because this is gonna be fun!

Its the 1st day of July.  I managed to get through June. It was so packed with cool things for me, it was one exciting adventure followed by another. I made it through and am glad my life doesn’t run like that every month. Its going to take me several posts to catch you up on things…so be patient.

As we’re progressing through summer, I’m reminded of last year. It was a long hot summer, filled with difficult emotions brought on from caring for my old dog, Storm. We loved him for 13 years and I was forced to make the hardest decision of my life last August. It was a sad time for me, but this year things are much better. I’m very happy for my buddy, Storm. He’s traveling the world this next year and smiling his silly smile at anyone who cares to look. Earlier this year he was spotted in Salt Lake City. I suspect he’ll be in Chicago this August. Possibly in Long Beach later this month and most likely in Houston this Fall.

And if you want, he could grace you with his company.

No I haven’t lost my marbles, my buddy Storm the German Shepherd Dog is Mr. September in the Quilting Arts 2012 Calendar. You can buy your own copy of the calendar and see his handsome-ness close up. Or you can put yourself at any number of venues, where the folks at Quilting Arts Magazine might be, and maybe see him in person. Well at least my thread-painted rendition of his awesomeness. He’ll be touring with Quilting Arts Magazine until the end of next year.

Storm was born in September, so its quite ironic that he was chosen to represent this month in the calendar. The moral is, when things are difficult, do your best to work your way through…one foot, then the other. In the end, when you look back you may see that something special has come from the journey. For me, my difficulties last summer brought me here so I can introduce you to my new favorite playboy, Mr. September.